Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Separation Anxiety
Rayna's got it bad and I have no idea what to do about it.
The bad part now is with this separation anxiety whenever she wakes up during the night she looks for me and can't fall back asleep until she's scooted over and burrowed in right next to me. I can't imagine trying to get her to sleep in her own bed when she's already getting completely freaked out that I'm going to somehow disappear.
So that's the night routine. When it's time to wake up it is kind of nice opening my eyes to my smiling baby but then once we get outside the room the freaking out begins as soon as I set her down with her toys. Just to make a bottle, get a cup of coffee or pee I have to listen to her complain or even scream. Sometimes I'll pick her up and do what I need to do with her on my hip if I can't deal with the crying but other times I'll just call to her that she's ok and hope that she'll get over it.
She never gets over it.
She'll only play with her toys if I'm sitting on the mat next to her. Even then she'll turn around every couple of minutes and grab onto me like she just needs to be sure I haven't gone anywhere. I assure you, I haven't gone anywhere!
So the question is what do I do about it???
All the books and websites say separation anxiety is completely normal around this age and a bit older. I'm sure it doesn't help that it's mostly just Zatty and I all day. She only gets babysat maybe once or twice a month and although we go on play dates during the week I'm always with her. Do I just accept this as a phase and deal with it until however long? (Possibly losing what's left of my mind in the meantime) Or do I let her 'cry it out' in hopes that she'll figure out how to be more autonomous? Perhaps the solution is just the opposite, to shower her with love and affection whenever she asks for it that way she'll grow to be more secure that mommy will be there when she needs her and therefore she'll be able to relax if I walk away that I'm not going to abandon her. Maybe letting her cry will make the problem worse. Or maybe I'm making the anxiety worse by always being with her? Or maybe I'm going to drive myself batty by over thinking it!
Would love to hear other people's experiences with this..
I know I've been complaining a lot lately but it's been a rough couple of months and sometimes it's nice to just get on here and vent. Not to mention the support ALWAYS helps!
Thanks for listening.
Labels: Baby
just my 2cents at 11:29 AM |
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