Sunday, September 17, 2006
A Simple Message, A Mobile Heart
My Beloved Zatty,
The heart beat, the tense, the happiness, the
sadness, the fight, the break up, the make up, the understanding, the learn,
the pain, the rush, the confused, the joy, the sorrow, the hope, the
dissapointed, the tears, the togetherness, the longingly, the regret.... the
everything..
If I say I think of you.. I
really mean it..
To be honest, I can barely erase
you out of my head..
The picture of you keep twirling
and whirling in my head..
Been dreaming of being with you.. Missing
you.. Always.. Every hour.. Every minute.. Even if we just have met.. When I
open up my eyes.. You’re the only person I’d love to see.. I know I’m being a
fool.. I’d always called people “Silly” if they do things like that! Hahaha..
But really.. I don’t care if I’m being stupid.. I don’t care if I’m fooling my
self around..
After all those hard times of
mine.. After all those failure and pain.. Having you in my life has been such a
blessing.. I’m really grateful for having you standing right here beside me,
despite my selfish, arrogant and immature behaviors.. It might sound
ridiculous, but YES, I do think you are the best thing ever happened to me for
the last 6 months.. Surrounded by so many success and also failure, happiness
and also sadness.. I realize that I am so lucky for having someone who always
stands beside me, no matter what..
To some extent.. I believe that
God has sent me one of Her angels to stand beside and guide me through my
journey of life.. I know, I, myself have the strength, dignity and faith to
walk my own path.. But having someone walking beside you means more than
anything you have in your life.. You means more to me.. You means more than
everything in my life.. You’re there when I stand tall.. You’re there when I
fell.. You’re still there when I desperately try to stand up and climb the tiny
little step..
Darl, should you feel the same
about me.. Should you feel what I feel.. Should you have the same dreams.. I am
the first and the only person who needs to know and wishing for it.. Should you
really feel so.. Nothing will ever have any chances to stand in my ways to get
to you.. Trust me !!
“ My world is a better place,
because u loved me.. “
just my 2cents at 3:30 AM |
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Confessions Of A Black Heart
Motionless i believe everything happens in no coincidence,
As i was touched by God.
This month i kinda forgot fulfilling my due in giving my share
in His glory as i do every day for my grateful.
Saying Thank you Allah..
He touches me this way, reminds me that i have lived so posh, i start to forgetting where i get it. I was sad, angry & confuse of course but somehow i'm happy. Not to mention that i'm a kind of person that cannot expressed my emotions, correctly i mean. I just learned various emotion that i could actually or should have. but from my early age, i don't feel them, really. Like when i should be angry at the time, i feel nothing, just empty. or when my grandma died, i didn't cry just quiet inside. i never been angry or actually be in a physical fight with someone, i never hit back. but i remember, someone i dislike so much in the past and suddenly he just went ill for a few days afterwards.it's a lesson that sometimes people need to look back just for a simple reminder what
we already have now & Don't take things for granted!!
My past week was a week of freedom. A moment where i could really expressed what i really want in my own free time. I start to understand myself, pleasuring my inner body towards a level i once reached and lost in it. My_Beloved Izzaty, My_work -- Thanks to Atip (Trip to JB was awesome kan!!)We are rowk when we worked together..the result was superb, EPF & SOCSO we did with a flying colors.!!(here's one of the four massive styrofoam i did) we laugh together, we think, we sing, we ride, we had so much joy together. Again in midnite air and i see the "me" i left behind for all these money making activities.
I love the dark i use to create beyond all of my sunshine in my book of days. In sadness i
could feel the energy i need. Funny to some people, or even freaky to those who actually knows me after sometime. But yeah, i'm proud of the oddness inside. Of all the lesson i learn and moments i've burn, i grew into this individual who gives respect to the meaning of life. In any forms, i believe things do have their own reason. Even the slightest change really affect me in somewhat way. That's why i love pay attention to details human does and kept forgetting. i try to learn and feel them. As i was always saying, the result is not important. The biggest concern to me is the process. After all, we're just dreamers in endless space...
~ Signning - Off ~
just my 2cents at 2:58 AM |
