Friday, May 4, 2007

Jodoh?

I heard and read somewhere that there are 3 things set from azali:

i) Jodoh
ii) Rezeki
iii) Ajal

I'm just wondering, if "Jodoh itu di tangan Tuhan", why are there so many divorces and failed marriages in our society, not just in Western countries like the United States? Does that means "Dah tiada jodoh" or "Jodoh itu tidak panjang?" (as mentioned by a friend). I had trouble figuring that one out. What does the phrase "Jodoh itu di tangan Tuhan" actually means? Does that mean some unlucky people won't be able to meet their jodoh in their lifetime?

As we all know, to look for a life partner we should also doa' + effort/usaha + tawakkal as well. What if the marriage still fails? Perhaps an arranged marriage will last longer/work better rather than we look for a partner ourselves. Hmmmm when two people are in love and get married, does that mean they've found jodoh in themselves? What if for some reasons they get divorced years later, find somebody else and the second marriage lasts forever? Which one is jodoh then?

Some questions / thoughts on my mind:

1) Hypothetically speaking. A loving couple has been together for many many years. They were extremely close with each other's family, trust each other with all their heart and one day they decided to settle down. Get married. Tie the knot. But the marriage turned out to be a complete disaster. They tried everything they could to save it, but a few years later, they decided to go their separate ways. What does that mean? "Jodoh mereka tidak panjang?", even though they work really hard for it? They are simply not meant for each other?

2) Perhaps the actual definition for "Jodoh tidak panjang" is when a husband or a wife passed away early in the marriage, much to the the dismay that they're like the "perfect couple" you'll ever know? That makes more sense right? They are so right for each other, but Death is also set from Azali. What if your spouse passed away, you managed to move on and get married for the second time and live happily ever after with your new life partner. Does that mean you're lucky to find 2 jodohs in your lifetime?

3) To find the right (not perfect) wife or husband, one should practise consistent doa' + effort/usaha + tawakkal. We're not gonna find anyone by just waiting in the house, hoping and hoping every single day that one fine day, Mr./Mrs. Right will come knocking through front door. It doesn't work that way. A friend mentioned to me years ago, arranged marriage might work better than the conventional ones because both party are willing to make the marriage work. Both party agreed and willingly participate in the arranged marriage, having the preconception that they must put their utmost effort the make the marriage last. But what if the marriage still fails? I know such couple who ended up that way. It's such a pity because I know both the husband and wife wanted it to work so bad, but yet.

4) Muslim men are allowed (I want to use the word "entitled" but it's too strong) to have 4 wives. Which one is his jodoh? The first one? Because that's his first love? What about the second one? Third one? Fourth one? Which one then? All of them?

just my 2 cents.. I’m out.. need to lie down. peace..

just my 2cents at 12:14 AM |

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