Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Why we refuse to admit our mistakes?
“Dan takutlah engkau akan doa orang yang dizalimi, sesungguhnya (doa orang yang dizalimi itu) tidak ada di antaranya dan di antara Allah pendinding.”
(Hadits riwayat Bukhari)
When something screws up (or to put it bluntly – when shit happens), we are quick to point our finger at others. Anyone but us. Why? Because if it is something bad, it got to be a mistake made by someone else. Why blame ourselves and start feeling bad for ourselves? Nobody likes to feel bad. So just point our finger to someone! Simple as that.
Some of us love to do that, and some of us do that all the time. This is a very bad habit because we jump to conclusion and accuse someone of a mistake he/she made. This mistake can be something trivial.. and yet, we tend to make a big fuss out of it.
Just look at how some bosses penalize their subordinates over some small mistakes. A missing word, a wrong font type, a technical glitch, etc. Something small which can be fixed within minutes and yet, some people just love to make a big issue out of it. What about the school teacher who blame his students for not submitting the assignment on time and punish them to stand under the hot sun for 2 hours?
A simple mistake, made into a major issue.
To make things worse, there are times when the bosses, or the leaders, realized that the mistake is actually made by them and not the people they were pointing their fingers at. Yes, we all do that from time to time. Nobody is perfect after all. But the difference here is whether we, or the leaders, or the bosses, are willing to swallow the bitter pill and admit it is OUR mistake and APOLOGIZE.
No. Most people could not bring themselves to admit it is their mistake, and even more people could not say the word “Sorry”. So we blame people over a small mistake, and later realized it is actually our own mistake.. but we refused to admit it and refused to apologize.
Why? All because of this thing called EGO.
Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong; it just means that you value your relationships more than your ego.
So people, learn to leave your EGO somewhere far away. Look into a problem with a clear mind, and stop jumping to conclusion. If it’s a small mistake, you can either forgive the person or just have a chat with the person. There’s really no point making it into something big. Also, if it really is your mistake, please admit it and apologize. Admit that you are wrong to blame the other person for your own mistake. Salvage whatever you can from the relationship which you’ve just damaged due to your ego.
Remember there is always two sides to every story. Understanding is a three-edged sword. Your side, their side, and the truth in the middle. Get all the facts before you jump to conclusions.
Last but not least, remember that this does not apply only to office life, but also when you deal with your spouse, your friends, your children, your neighbors and other people in your life. Because such things, do happen a lot in our life irregardless of where we are and who we are dealing with.
Hope it helps.
Yes, it’s easy for people to just sit down, complain or even punish those responsible. But everybody makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect in this world. So rather than punishing, complaining and whining.. why not focus on the problem and how can one come out with a solution to fix it?
Nothing is more important than to find a solution to a problem. So, be aware of what you are focusing on when you’re faced with a problem.
p/s.. over the years, many people have been terminated by hot shot directors/managers who love to flex their management muscles (abusing their authority). This is the harsh reality of the corporate world. Yet, most of them only know how to show off their authority and not solve the underlying problems. Because for them, their ego can only carry them that far.
I believe they would get a huge shit too one day. Bigger shit which they gave me this time. Just watch and see.. Maybe not any time soon.. but one day.. one day. I am sure.
Just because I laugh a lot, doesn't mean my life is easy. Just because I have a smile on my face, doesn't mean something is not bothering me. I just choose to move on and not dwell on negative things in my life. Every new moment gives me the chance to renew anew.
I choose to be that.
Some of us love to do that, and some of us do that all the time. This is a very bad habit because we jump to conclusion and accuse someone of a mistake he/she made. This mistake can be something trivial.. and yet, we tend to make a big fuss out of it.
Just look at how some bosses penalize their subordinates over some small mistakes. A missing word, a wrong font type, a technical glitch, etc. Something small which can be fixed within minutes and yet, some people just love to make a big issue out of it. What about the school teacher who blame his students for not submitting the assignment on time and punish them to stand under the hot sun for 2 hours?
A simple mistake, made into a major issue.
To make things worse, there are times when the bosses, or the leaders, realized that the mistake is actually made by them and not the people they were pointing their fingers at. Yes, we all do that from time to time. Nobody is perfect after all. But the difference here is whether we, or the leaders, or the bosses, are willing to swallow the bitter pill and admit it is OUR mistake and APOLOGIZE.
No. Most people could not bring themselves to admit it is their mistake, and even more people could not say the word “Sorry”. So we blame people over a small mistake, and later realized it is actually our own mistake.. but we refused to admit it and refused to apologize.
Why? All because of this thing called EGO.
Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong; it just means that you value your relationships more than your ego.
So people, learn to leave your EGO somewhere far away. Look into a problem with a clear mind, and stop jumping to conclusion. If it’s a small mistake, you can either forgive the person or just have a chat with the person. There’s really no point making it into something big. Also, if it really is your mistake, please admit it and apologize. Admit that you are wrong to blame the other person for your own mistake. Salvage whatever you can from the relationship which you’ve just damaged due to your ego.
Remember there is always two sides to every story. Understanding is a three-edged sword. Your side, their side, and the truth in the middle. Get all the facts before you jump to conclusions.
Last but not least, remember that this does not apply only to office life, but also when you deal with your spouse, your friends, your children, your neighbors and other people in your life. Because such things, do happen a lot in our life irregardless of where we are and who we are dealing with.
Hope it helps.
Yes, it’s easy for people to just sit down, complain or even punish those responsible. But everybody makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect in this world. So rather than punishing, complaining and whining.. why not focus on the problem and how can one come out with a solution to fix it?
Nothing is more important than to find a solution to a problem. So, be aware of what you are focusing on when you’re faced with a problem.
p/s.. over the years, many people have been terminated by hot shot directors/managers who love to flex their management muscles (abusing their authority). This is the harsh reality of the corporate world. Yet, most of them only know how to show off their authority and not solve the underlying problems. Because for them, their ego can only carry them that far.
I believe they would get a huge shit too one day. Bigger shit which they gave me this time. Just watch and see.. Maybe not any time soon.. but one day.. one day. I am sure.
Just because I laugh a lot, doesn't mean my life is easy. Just because I have a smile on my face, doesn't mean something is not bothering me. I just choose to move on and not dwell on negative things in my life. Every new moment gives me the chance to renew anew.
I choose to be that.
Labels: Current Affairs
just my 2cents at 3:29 PM |
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