Sunday, April 30, 2006

ATTN: To all Girls out there :)

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1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the
The Sun's sport pages so you are aware of what's
going on regarding the World Cup and will be able
to join in conversations.

If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad
way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about
not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup the television is mine at
all times - without any exceptions.

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the
TV during a game - as long as you do it crawling
on the floor and without distracting me.

If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV,
make sure you put clothes on right after because if
you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to
the doctor or look after you during the World Cup
month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute -
unless I require a refill of my drink or something to
eat.

You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen
to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or
pick up the baby that just fell from the second
floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least
two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as
plenty of things to nibble on.

And please do not make any funny faces to my
friends when they come over to watch the games.
In return, you will be allowed to use the TV
between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a
good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset
because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT
say "get over it, its only a game" or "don't worry,
they'll win next time".

If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will
never ever know more about football than me and
your so called "words of encouragement" will only
lead to a break-up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one
game and you can talk to me during half-time but
only when the adverts are on, and only if the score
is pleasing me.

In addition, please note I am saying "one" game,
hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I
don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen
them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any
other child related parties or gatherings that
requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house
on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in
a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV
every night is just as important as the games
themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this...why don't you change
the channel to something we can all watch?" The
reply will be: "Refer to Rule ..2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such
as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years".

I am immune to these words, because after this
comes the Champions League, Italian League,
Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

:P

Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World

just my 2cents at 11:23 PM |

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